Louisiana Warrior Dash 2011 Race Report

Warrior Dash Race Report


Well it’s been a while since I posted, so I figured I would break the drought with a write-up on the Warrior Dash. For anyone who’s reading this and doesn’t know about the Warrior Dash, you can always check out their website to get an idea of what it’s all about. Let’s just say it’s crazy and absolutely the best race I’ve ever done.
So I didn’t really train for this race like I do other races because well I have no idea what I’m about to experience. So, I just go into it completely untrained and planning on just having a good time. The day before the race I read an article in a New Orleans Newspaper talking about the 7500 racers they were expecting. WOW 7500 for a 3.18 mile race. That’s crazy, but the obstacles and party atmosphere must bring everyone out. The race promises to be pretty messy anyway, so just for good measure it absolutely pours for the two days leading up to the race. Pretty cool.
Well the morning of the race (also the morning we are going to leave to drive to north Georgia) started fairly late for a race. My wave (first wave Oh Yeah!!) didn’t start until 0900. We show up to park, and they have the parking setup in the spillway on the grass. Well with the two days of rain, the ground is super sloppy. No fears, the van made it in and out without getting stuck. Once we parked, we waited in line in the rain for the school bus to arrive and shuttle us to the race. Me, Emily, Cohen, Nan, and Pops all lined up trying not to get wet would have been a sight, but we were surrounded by hundreds of racers in costume. It was great.

The first wave all lined up just before 9 to get the race going. They line us up between some chain link fences and start the countdown. To start a race this crazy, a gun just won’t do. They fire off two flame throwers above the starting gate. It’s really hot and really cool all at the same time.

I’m expecting the people to just go all out and leave me wondering around, but when the flames shoot out. A large portion of the group starts to walk or slowly jog. I figure oh well, I’ll just set out through the higher grass to the side and pass people for the “flat and fast” first mile and a half before the obstacles. Well as it turns out, they didn’t stick to the original setup. I figured it would be a rough race because my feet were completely soaked after the first 20 yards, because there were huge puddles everywhere. Well to make it all better, we hit the first obstacle at about 400 yards into the race.

Of course the first obstacle would be none other than the chest deep water. Yep that’s right, we are barely started into the race and we are wet up to our chins in very cold water. Then, the next half of the race was run in mud and ankle deep water. Super.


The next obstacle we came to was the hay bales. This one wasn’t too bad. Just a few bales high and they were fresh. Not long after this one we get to the high low walls. This is the first real test. The wall is just over waist high, and it would be no problem to jump normally, but I’m soaking wet with muddy feet and already sucking air. So in the few yards leading up to the wall I start the argument in my head. “Can I make the wall? Sure go for it. No, you’ll catch your feet and fall flat.” Anyway, I decided I was going for it. I didn’t enter this race to take the easy way out, and I’m happy to announce that the feet actually made it over the wall. I breathed a few very deep sighs of relief and kept on running.

After the walls, we are running through a lot of mud and some good sized puddles. This made it fun when you would step in a small hole under the water. It’s always hilarious for the people running behind you. So, after stumbling around and actually NOT FALLING (Woo Hoo), we hit what I guess was the half way mark (no actual signs) since water stations usually mark this point. The water station is kind of in the middle of nowhere, but it was nice to see. That was until we actually tasted the water. I don’t believe it was officially listed as an obstacle, but seeing as how the water was warm and tasted like it was dipped out of the spillway, I’m calling this a hidden obstacle.

Once we had all gagged down the water, we were faced with the balance beams. This was 1X1’s (ok it was actually 2X8’s but with jelly legs it seemed smaller) that were stood up on an incline. Thankfully they had toe boards nailed on it so our muddy shoes could get a grip. We ran over two sets of these wavy contraptions and headed to the horizontal cargo net.

The structure was built up to a large horizontal rectangle supported about 4-5 feet off the ground. Inside of this rectangle was a cargo net that we had to crawl across. This was also the first part in the race that I got really frustrated. The guy in front of me had just come flying by me on the run, but he had zero coordination. I got stuck behind him on the net and had to wait for him to get across. I realize we are all tired, but I’m pretty sure Cohen would have been faster. Once we clear the net I took great pleasure in running past that guy.

(Disclaimer: These may be somewhat out of order. Oxygen was not flowing freely to the brain during this next section)

We round the corner a little while later and come up to the dark tunnel. This obstacle was really just black trash bags or tarps strung up to look like a really short but long tent. We hit the ground and started crawling, and once we got inside it was pitch black. I got a kick out of the girl the entered this section with me. She was a few feet to my right and kept calling through the pitch black, “I can’t see!! This is way too dark!! OK I apologize in advance for anyone that may be in front of me. “ I was cracking up. Thankfully, we didn’t have anyone in front of us, and no one got rear ended. Although, I have to imagine that with that many people out there, not everyone was that lucky.

The next challenge was the spider web. I was a little nervous about this one after I read about it on the website because there weren’t a lot of details. As it turns out, it was a bunch of bungee cords stretched across the trail to resemble a web. Not really a tough obstacle but it did slow me down some. From there the trail made it to a section that wasn’t clear cut. The entire time we had been running, the trails were clear. Here, they left a lot of new growth trees that were just big enough to really whip you as we passed through. This was not the most pleasant section.


But, I didn’t realize that the rest of the run was even less pleasant. The water for most of the last mile was between ankle and knee deep. That was absolutely no fun to try and run through (OK it was fun but tough). I learned real quick that you walk through knee deep water. I didn’t have to step in many holes and fall flat on my face in the water to figure that out. At one point in this section we passed by one of the obstacles. There were supposed to be floating logs in a section of water, but the water was so high and moving so fast that they had the logs tied up on the fence. I have to admit that I was a little disappointed to see that. I was really looking forward to it, but seeing as how I could barley breathe, it was probably for the best.

From here we had the good fortune to once again pass through the chest deep water (always funny to see a lifeguard standing out in the middle of a race). This section opened up to the cars. Now this was the part I was most excited about. Ever since watching the Duke’s of Hazard, what little boy didn’t want to go hood sliding? I considered it when I was younger, but I didn’t want to face my dad if a dented the hood of his car. SO here was my chance, and what did I do? Yep, I completely punked out. My legs were really tired and I didn’t think I could jump, so I grabbed onto the first hood and drug myself up so I could do a very un-athletic roll across the hood. After falling to the other side I realized that we had to high-knee it through some tires. This gave me enough time to consider the next two cars I would have to jump. I decided that if I jumped and didn’t make it over the cars it would be worth it. I couldn’t run a race like this scared. As I approached the next set of cars I flung my legs up in front of me and did one of the sweetest hood slides. With the wet shorts I shot across the car and landed on the other side. Once more set of high-knees and then I repeated the slide on the last set of cars. It was awesome. I did collapse one of the hoods, which I’m sure made it tough for the people behind me (haha).


The last section grouped three obstacles together for a great finish in front of the spectators. First up would be the cargo net.

 

I mean why wouldn’t you put a 15-20 foot cargo net 3 miles into a race? Everyone is completely gassed and now you climb way up in the air supported only by the twizzlers we used to call legs. They did have an EMS at the bottom of the net with a med bag. I thought “oh great, if I fall from way up there at least there will be someone to drag me out of the way so I don’t get stepped on.” The net actually turned out to be a lot of fun. It wasn’t easy, but it was a good time. Once it was cleared we headed to the signature part of the Warrior dash finish. That’s right; we got to jump over fire. It was a great addition to the end of the race. I don’t have any pictures of it, but if we break down and buy the course photos, there are a few in there.

Once the fire is cleared we all headed into the mud pit. It would have been an awesome and messy section, but the rain had filled it with a lot of water, so the mud didn’t stick that bad. In fact, we could almost swim it. They had barbed wire strung above the pit to keep you from standing up. That made it even cooler.

A chant came up from the crowd right here. “Go Gold Guy! Go Old Guy!” I couldn’t help but laugh, and then pass him going into the finish. I know I know, but it felt good.

And this face pretty much summed up the race. It was completely worth it and I’ll be back again next year. Will you join me????

Here are my biggest fans hanging out after the race. In case you are wondering, Cohen is in the process of talking me out of a few bites of banana. I think that’s why he enjoys the races. He always gets banana when we are done.

 

Now it’s time for the great photos. I have to thank Stephanie for all the pics above and below. They turned out great. The fellow Warriors that show up below all had great races. Ryan, Adam, and Tricia all slammed the course and have the fuzzy hats and medals to prove it. Ya’ll did great. I don’t have nearly all of the pics from the race. Steph has about 130 on her facebook. I would suggest heading over there.

The Finishers

I just love this picture

Already talking about the experience.

God doesn't need us...

Most of my inspiration and deeper thoughts comes from music. There are certain songs out there that make me think a little deeper on subjects that I might have just passed over, and having a kid kind of adds to that thinking. There are times when Cohen will do something or act a certain way and all of a sudden I’m thinking about the implications or motivations surrounding what I am doing or planning. Recently both a song and the antics my little boy brought something to light in my mind. It’s amazing how God can use the things he surrounds us with to give us an even deeper look into who He is.


The song I mentioned above is “Two weeks in Africa” by Caedmon’s Call (one of my absolute favorite bands). The song is a fantastic song about spending time in Africa on missions and the impact it has on both the person going out on the mission trip and the people that are being helped. There was always one line that I loved, and that I thought I understood, in the song about God’s need for us in missions. The line says “We put the walls up, but Jesus keeps them standing. He doesn’t need us but He lets us put our hands in. So we can see His love is bigger than you and me.” Great lyrics and great meaning, but it never really sunk in until Cohen and I set out to put together his swing-set (my wife also did a lot of the actual work).

Now don’t get me wrong, I love working with my son and having him help out on projects, but how much can a two year old do to build a swing-set? He can’t really do anything “valuable” as far as the swing-set is concerned. In fact, he will most likely slow me down and make the job more difficult. But, that doesn’t keep him from helping and me from letting him help. While I’m following directions and putting things together, he’s walking around with my rubber mallet hammering everything in sight (much to the chagrin of my two dogs and the detriment of any passing bug). It all came to a head when I turned around and saw Cohen wandering through the yard carrying the last few lock washers (and yes they only send you the exact number required) and dropping them in random places. After a 20-30 minute crawling search, we found all of the washers. That’s headache I don’t need when I’m putting together a large project in the blazing heat, but you know what, I wouldn’t change anything. Having Cohen beside me made me happy. Even though it took longer and was twice as frustrating as usual, it was totally worth it. And I know he’s probably too little to completely understand, but he enjoyed himself because he was able to “help” me build the swing-set. As he gets older he will start to appreciate things more whenever he sees the work that’s required. It may still take longer to have him involved, but both of us get satisfaction in the end.

Isn’t that how God works with us? Just like the song says, “We put the walls up, but Jesus keeps them standing…” God has designed this world and designed all the laws of nature to coincide with it. You can give me a long list of equations and theorems describing how the wood fibers hold the nail in place due to the friction between the two substances (blah, blah, blah). I know most of the equations, in fact I scraped by in college by being able to regurgitate them back out onto a piece of paper. The fact is, if you are a Christian you understand that God’s the one that made that happen. He designed it just that way, so truly we may stand the wall up, but the forces of nature (God’s forces) keep them there. We pat ourselves on the back and say “Good job. We really did a great job building …”, but we just held stuff up. Cohen could look back and say, “Wow I did a great job walking around with those washers. They ended up right where they were supposed to go.” But, I know that they ended up there because I put them there. They held together because I tightened them (and yes like I said before, they held together because ultimately God held them there). It would be absurd for Cohen to stand up and pound his chest and tell everyone that he built that swing-set, but we do that with projects and with missions all the time. We show what a great job the “church” has done building this, or organizing that, and all too often we forget that God really did it.

Right after I set out to write this, Stephen Hawking came out with his most recent outrageous claim that the world and universe were formed with no input from God, and that there is really no reason to even assume God exists. OK, just to be clear, I really disagree with Mr. Hawking here. He is a brilliant scientist and one of the most brilliant human beings ever, but there it is, he’s a human. A human next to God is even more ridiculous of a comparison than Cohen helping me build something. A two year old cannot be expected to understand things the way a grown adult does. Even the most brilliant 2 year old will still fall woefully short. (As a disclaimer, I know that there are prodigies out there, but those prodigies grow up and become even smarter. This example is using two regular everyday people like my son and me.) Mr. Hawking looks at what’s around him, decides how it should go and then tells God that He doesn’t exist because we have now figured it out. It would be much the same as my son looking at the pieces of the swing-set that were laid out before him and telling me that he doesn’t need my input or the instructions. Now he will be able to make something from the pile of parts, but I promise you it will not be the swing-set. In fact, it most likely will not resemble any swing-set. That’s what happens when we think we know best, we put all the parts together and then say that we have it figured out. How crazy would it be for him to turn around and tell me that he was able to do this all by himself and that it turned out just fine? I would have to tell him to have fun trying to swing and slide on what could best be described as a pile of wood. The problem is that we build something that ends up suiting only what we originally thought it should look like. Whenever God is involved, it turns out looking like the plan, and is usually much greater than we could have imagined.

But, there is also a second part to the song that I mentioned. “He doesn’t need us but He lets us put our hands in. So we can see His love is bigger than you and me.” Now for the really big picture, GOD DOESN’T “NEED” US TO EVEN PUT THE WALLS UP. In fact, most of the time we just get in the way and drop his lock-washers all over the mission field. Just like how I didn’t need Cohen to help me, God can do all this without us. But, He’s a loving Father who wants to spend time with us and let us do things to hopefully catch a glimpse of how big He really is. If we truly serve a God that will make the rocks cry out if we don’t (Luke 19:40), how simple would it be for him to construct buildings and organize events using the materials he created? Now I’m definitely not saying that we just sit back and don’t do anything. It’s quite the opposite. God may not need us to do it, but He certainly wants us to help. Just like I want my son to help me whenever I am doing something, God wants us to be right there. I would be hurt if my son said that he didn’t feel like helping me or that it was too much trouble, and then he went off to do his own thing.

Jon Acuff (AKA prodigaljon) wrote a blog about building benches (stuffchristianslike.net/2010/08/building-benches-instead-of-frisbees/). To summarize, he talks about doing the work for God that you have been called to and not just doing the work to do it. He also references Matthew 11:28-30 (“My burden is light…” verse) to talk about when we are doing what God has called us to do, it’s easy to do it, and please don’t misunderstand (just like a lot of commenters on Jon’s blog), I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s just easier than trying to force something you aren’t intended to do. If Cohen had taken off and decided that he was going to build a set of monkey bars instead of helping me build the swing-set, he would have had a tough time. I didn’t want him working on the monkey bars, and he would have taken the full weight on his shoulders. Believe me, even though he is a tough little guy, he couldn’t have carried the weight. Sure he was sweating and tired by the time the swing-set was done, but it was much easier than setting out on his own project.

All of this is why God doesn’t need us to help Him. How great of a gift is it when we can approach each project with the mindset that God is allowing us to help Him? That really changes my outlook when I can see that I am being allowed to help instead of thinking that I have to help. And while I generally hate to try and draw a comparison between God and myself, the Father to son relationship is a perfect picture of it. If an imperfect human like me enjoys spending time with his son, how much more does God enjoy spending time with us? I firmly believe He will gladly crawl around searching for the washers we drop just to have us spend the time helping Him with projects He can easily accomplish on His own.

So as the title says, God doesn't need us, but He does want us.

So ... 10?

Ok my wife is now officially one of those running freaks. She wakes up early in the morning on the weekends to get ready to go out and run. She is so excited about it that she actually wakes up earlier than planned because she couldn’t sleep any longer. I, on the other hand, will drag myself out the door in the morning if I absolutely have to. I enjoy running in the afternoon (you know after the sun has actually decided to wake up). Well stupid me, I say to my wife “So, you mind if I try to run with you Saturday morning?” You see Emily is training for a half marathon. I’m training for … well I just kind of go out and run sometimes. I have a goal of the half marathon in December, but the full motivation hasn’t completely hit me. So anyway, Emily is going to run 10 miles. I at this point have never run more than 5, and in the past 3 months have not run more than 4, but I wanted to give it a try. So this is a little recounting of how that all went down.

4:00-5:30 Emily wakes up. I can’t give you the exact time because I like most normal humans on Saturday was not awake.

5:30 She wakes me up and has to put up with quite a lot of whining complaining and pulling the sheets over my head.

5:35 I drag my sorry rear out of bed and start getting dressed.

5:40 Dressed. Yeah that’s right. It doesn’t take a long time to get ready. I still don’t recall the whole ordeal, but I ended up decent enough to walk out into public, and I even remembered my iPod.

5:50 Leave the house. I follow Emily to the car (still complaining at this point) and get into the passenger side. I believe I was heavily under the influence of sleep and in no shape to drive.

6:00 Arrive at the track. Emily wakes me up and informs me that I should stop complaining because she is usually out here at 5:00. Ha 5:00 yeah I always think hmmm it’s 5:00AM let’s go run!!!

6:05 Start running

Ok so we are going to start this run and I position myself right behind Emily because she is going to pace me the whole way.

The Run (from my perspective)

Start – Everything is great. Working out the kinks in the legs and getting everything going because I haven’t run since Monday. I had a real busy week and had planned on running Friday night, but some friends really twisted our arms and talked us into going to get hibachi.

Lap 1 (each lap is a mile) – This is nice. It’s pretty cool outside and the humidity is low. I enjoy the birds that are flying around, and I nod and wave to the people we are passing on the track. This isn’t so bad. I’m getting into my pace now.

Lap 2 – Ha this is nothing. I could run like this forever. It would be nice if my shoes weren’t full of water now, but I guess the whole track can’t drain perfectly. Oh and the birds are still flying all around.

Lap 3 – Yep right where I need to be. 3 Miles is kind of my standard run now, and this feels great. There is a breeze that has kicked up on the last quarter mile and cooled us down even more. Just grab the water bottle on my way past the bench and take a sip to prepare for mile 4.

Lap 4 – Throw the water bottle down next to a lamp post and keep following Emily. I’m starting to feel the run now. There is a good sweat worked up, but my breathing is nice and even. I wave to the people we pass and give a head nod or say hello.

Lap 5 – Well now I’m starting out into my furthest distance. I figure alright just follow Emily. She’ll set the pace all you have to do is follow. This lap goes down no problem. We pass the bench that marks the end of the lap and I start to feel good about myself. 5 miles down oh yeah, and that’s when it hits me YOU”RE ONLY HALFWAY DONE!!!!

Lap 6 – Well the body is now starting to fall apart. The nice running form has now been replaced by a little more of an awkward lope. I look in front of me, and there is my lovely wife just gliding along listening to her iPod. I notice the birds again and nod a hello to a couple of people we pass.

Lap 7 – Oh yeah feeling it now. I grab my water bottle from beside the lamp and swig a good bit of water. That’s nice because now I have water belly. I still stay right with Emily and try to focus on nothing else. Only 3 more laps to go.

Lap 8 – Well now pretty much everything hurts. The thought of stopping and watching my wife keep running I now the only thing that is keeping me going. I see some strange kid with a hornets hat on walking the opposite way down the track. I wonder if I can get his attention and have him bump into me so I can fake an injury and have to stop. That about the time it hits me. If you’ve run a long ways before, you know what it is, but let’s just say I was in danger of becoming a “real” runner. I can’t stop now though, the bag with the “supplies” is way across the park, and besides I can’t stop this close to the end. The fried rice will just have to hold on. Oh well I’ll just keep going.

Lap 9 – Yeah I pretty much sound like a Clydesdale at this point. It’s a good thing Emily has in those headphones because the sounds coming from me would be nothing short of scary. I grab the water bottle again, but I don’t dare take a drink. I’m really depending on the air coming in through my mouth at this point, and drowning on the walking trail at the park is not high up on my to-do list. Of course there is my lovely wife still gliding along. I notice those stupid birds again and completely ignore everyone I pass on the trail. I even start to wonder if I could trip Emily and pass it off as an accident so that we can stop this madness. I know that’s a terrible thought, but when you’re pushed hard enough your body goes into survival mode.

Lap 10 – As we pass the bench again my soul climbs out and goes to collapse on the bench. It’s smart enough to know its limits. My stupid body on the other hand has this pride issue. The rest of that lap is kind of a blur. I think my iPod was still playing and Emily may have turned around to make sure I was still there, but there is no good way of knowing. And then there a couple hundred yards away is that sweet bench that marks the end of this suffering (and of course my soul lying curled up asleep, which I immediately go back to collect).

So we finish. Emily is all excited and walking around. I’m trying to figure out the best place to crawl off by myself and die. We walk over to finish off the run with some stretching. Emily is happy and moving around a lot. I’m trying to keep everything inside of me… well inside of me. My hip is now popping, my left Achilles tendon has started a fire just above my heel, and my knees are not big fans of staying locked in place. We stretch and I drag myself back to the car where I can be chauffeured back to the house so that we can shower change and head to the “Donut Hole” for breakfast with some friends.

So now the plan I guess is to follow that maniac back out there again next Saturday for another round of “fun” to prepare for the Jazz half-marathon.

Back on Track

OK short post. Ahhh finally had a good run. After a few months of no running/bad running I have finally had a good run. The leg is feeling much better, so hopefully the training is back on track. 13.1 here I come. Just not real fast. I think the weather had a lot to do with it because it felt awesome outside tonight. The stretches past the lakes were a bit muggy, but the back of the subdivision was almost cool. The only downside is the typical Louisiana nights. You spend the whole time wiping bugs off your face while you run (much less fun on the bike), and I actually got one stuck in the corner of my eye. Do you know how hard it is to pull a bug out of your eye with sweaty fingers while trying your best not to lose your pace? Well if outside around here I'm sure you understand.

On another note, the saving towards the new road bike is going well. Fingers crossed!!

So what does the Spillway taste like?

If you’re like me, that title would strike you as kind of odd, and until the other day I would have agreed with you. I mean, who tastes the spillway? That place is gross, nasty, and smells funny. Well the other day I learned how the spillway tastes.

Let me set this up for you a little bit. First, Emily and I started riding mountain bikes back a few weeks ago. So I had never “really” ridden a mountain bike before. Sure when I was a kid I had the bike that I rode around the neighborhood that had 12 speeds, a water bottle, and really cool yellow hand shields. All of which were absolutely necessary at the time, because we did some pretty hardcore bike riding up and down the street. Anyway, once we got our bikes we decided to take them out to Baton Rouge and do some riding, and it turned out to be really fun. We went back to BR a few more times and then up to Ruston with a couple of our friends (shout out to Damon and Scarlett). So in total, I had logged about 5 bike rides before my trip to the spillway.

So to make a short story long, I figured that after my extensive experience on 5 bike rides that I was pretty much an expert at this stuff, and the spillway didn’t scare me at all. This should be a piece of cake. WRONG!! Well the trails aren’t exactly technical. It’s kind of twisty and thanks to the rain (about time) it was a bit slick, but none of that really mattered. I’m settling in to the trails, and getting a feel for their layout. Also, the trails here are named (with cool little street signs). About 1.5-2 miles into the ride I enter the “5 minutes alone” trail. About a minute later it opens up into a pretty straight stretch, and I start to build up speed. Then I see a log laid out across the trail in front of me. Now Damon taught me how to jump tree branches and things like that that lay down on the trail, so I figured I had this. It would be the largest one that I had jumped since it was about 12-14” in diameter (I went back and checked later and it’s about that size). Approaching the log, an experienced rider would have made a couple of observations. First, SLOW DOWN because you really don’t know what you’re doing here. Second, there are no marks on this log. The first is self explanatory, but the second is something I should have learned by now. If bikes have been going over a log, the crank tends to cut into the wood as the bike passes over it. So unless everyone had been completely bunny hopping over this thing (and I don’t think all the riders out there can do that) no one has really jumped it. Well that didn’t stop me. I built up speed, got up to the log and pulled up on my front tire and …… What happened next is kinda blurry. I remember a really bright flash of light, and then I started pushing myself out of the middle of the trail. Best I can figure, my front wheel didn’t get quite high enough, so my bike stopped immediately. Since I can’t quite stop that fast I went over the handle bars. Now don’t worry, I broke the fall with my face. I flipped so fast that I didn’t even have time to get my hands off of the handle bars.

Now I’m sitting on the side of the trail gathering my thoughts and composure and trying to do a check.

1. Face – still there and it hurts
2. Nose – not broken (good thing I have a small nose because if not it would have been broken) but full of mud
3. Hands – Check (perfectly fine because they didn’t even come close to touching the ground)
4. Arms – Check
5. Legs – Scraped but good
6. Eyes – Must be something wrong. I saw a flash of light and now there is light and dark intermingled. Oh wait; my sunglasses are smashed crooked on my face. Eyes – Check
7. Mouth – also full of mud
8. Ears – Yep got mud in them too

I’ve kind of given everything a once over and made sure I’m not really bleeding. That’s when I look at my bike and realize it’s now facing the opposite way down the trail. Ok so that was what landed on me. (Bike – Check) All in good working order. So I sit on the side of the trail a little longer to gather my composure. And what’s the first thing I think? “Man nobody got to see that. That would have been awesome. I wish I had a video.” Ok not the normal thoughts for that situation but come on. Who wouldn’t want to have seen that? It would have been nice to at least have a friend there to laugh at me.

Once I felt around to make sure everything was at least close to the same place, I climbed back on the bike and went back to riding the trails (little more gingerly this time). I finished out (didn’t do the teeter totter cause I wasn’t really feeling good) the rest of the trail and headed back to my truck. Once there I looked in the mirror to make sure nothing screamed “HE JUST CRASHED HIS BIKE!!” Other than a little scratch on my nose and upper lip, along with a strange bruise on my forehead, I was in good shape. My helmet now has a cracked visor, but that really doesn’t affect much.

So to answer the original question, the spillway tastes like nothing I’ve tasted before (or ever want to again for that matter). It’s a good mix of wood and rancid dirt, with a slight hint of animal matter that builds at the end (props to the “Next Food Network Star” on that description).

Wee Complex

Ok so we’ve all heard of the “Wee Complex” (my phrasing). This is that when something is small it seems to try and overcompensate or overcome the size by being much more aggressive. It cracks me up, and I really enjoy seeing all the evidence of it right here around my neighborhood.

Today I’m out for a run, and as usual I round the corner at about the ½ mile mark and there is the little Chihuahua with the deepest bark. It’s always there waiting on anyone to pass by so that it can scream at them to let them know just how “bad” he is and how he owns this area. I’m serious about this bark too. I mean I’ve got two 60 Lb labs that don’t bark like that. But, that is a normal occurrence. Nothing out of the ordinary there, it’s just the Same Ole Same Ole.

So now for the reason for the post… I’m cruising along listening to music and not really paying attention to anything else when all of a sudden I hear this awful screech or squawk or whatever. I get to looking around and that’s when I see about a 14 Lb, fluffy, black cat doing its best to blend into a brick wall. I mean this thing is pressed into the corner of the garage area and I know its summoning its chameleon skills, but to no avail, black just don’t blend in to red. Then I see where the sound is coming from. There is a little bird (aka. “rat with wings” as Emily would say) that is screaming its head off. I watch as it dive bombs this poor cat, which I guess got a little close to the ole nest. The cat’s running for its life from this 4 oz bird and I can’t help but laugh. As I passed, the cat had worked its way under the car and the bird took up its perch on the gutter to watch. HEHE I do believe there may have been a little trail that was following that cat, and I don’t think it was water.

I write this to say watch out. Small doesn’t mean weak, and there is now a black cat with a hairless butt that could testify to that.

Can't get no face time!!

OK so it’s time for the first real post. I’ve had a blog for a few weeks now, and oddly enough I figured out that it wasn’t writing itself. So, I figured I would give a write-up about Emily and I met/dated or whatever. Some of you may have already read about it on Emily’s blog, but here is the real story.

Emily and I first met my freshman year at Louisiana Tech. I had joined the ABS (Association of Baptist Students, and we went to Farmerville (yeah I know I was thinking the same thing the first time I heard it, but what can I say I’m from Pride) to participate in a hayride/caroling “event”. Well when we get there we meet up with some of the youth from our ABS director’s church. It just so happened that Emily is one of them (I’m taking her word here). Well we played the game chubby bunny which is Latin for stuff marshmallows into your mouth into you actually suck marshmallow juices into your lungs. Emily just so happened to be the one that was shoving the marshmallows into my mouth (someone has to help because at some point your own body says “no you can’t put any more marshmallows in” so someone else has to shove them in). As luck would have it, I have an extremely large mouth, and not only did we win, we lapped the nearest team. Well after that you have to get rid of the marshmallows, and now you can tell that I was not in the least bit worried about impressing her. It’s hard to look cool when it looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man is crawling out your mouth. So yeah I really don’t even remember meeting her that night. Pretty embarrassing, but oh well she’s not offended.

A couple of years later Emily started college and also came to the ABS. Please keep in mind that I still didn’t remember who she was, but oh well. Over the first few months, we became friends and hung out with our typical group of friends (great times and good friends). I have to admit that come the November/December time frame I was interested. Now here is the kicker. She didn’t think I was interested in her because I actually thought my friend Keith (look you got a shout out) was interested in her. I mean they went everywhere together and hung out all the time. So, following the guy code, I decided not to interfere. If Keith liked her, I wasn’t going to get in the way. It took a few weeks before a few of my really good friends kinda cornered me at my house and said “so you know Emily likes you right?” I’m like “WHAT? I thought Keith liked her.” And then they all laughed at me. Boy that’s not humiliating. So now, cool she likes me.

I thought the next part would be easy. Just ask her out. The problem is that my “good friends” were always around us. I couldn’t get her alone to ask her for anything. I’m old fashioned, so I wasn’t going to do the phone thing. If I’m gonna ask her, I’m gonna do it face to face. Well then the opportunity arises. She invites a few of us to her house to hang out. So I do what everyone did at that time, I burned a “Napster” disc with some good music to listen to on the 45 MINUTE DRIVE (sheesh I never thought we would get there, because we actually turned on roads without lines). So I’m driving up there in my truck with Micah and Keith and I think to myself, “self, if you leave this CD inside you will have to go back in by yourself to get it.” SWEET I know how I can get her alone to ask her. Well we show up at the house and her Mom makes some sweet cheese dip and Quesadillas. That’s awesome because they were great. I would almost have started dating her just to eat her Mom’s cooking, but I digress. We get ready to leave, I check on the perfect placement of the CD on a writing desk just inside the door, and we head out to the truck. What happens you ask? Well I hear Keith behind me say “Oh hey you forgot your CD. Don’t worry I brought it with me.” ARRGGHHHH

So that plan was thwarted, so I had to start plotting again. Most of you probably don’t realize just how hard it was to get one on one time with our group of friends. We went everywhere together. Anyway, we go to this David Crowder concert (he rocks), and while we are there I “steal” a light off of her keychain. I figure this way I’ll have to bring it back to her or something. After the concert, we all go back to our house (mine and my two roommates) and just hang out. Well, Emily leaves and heads out to her jeep, so I make my move. I follow her outside and give her the light back and then say something really profound, earth shattering, and memorable like “So uh would you uh like to maybe uh go to dinner sometime uh you know if you want to?” Well to my relief she said yes, and U turned around headed inside only to hear her set off the car alarm because she forgot to turn it off (hehehe).

Our first date was on January 19 2001, and I didn’t even have to look at her blog to figure that out. I purposely didn’t tell my roommates because I didn’t want to have to get ragged on for a while and answer a million questions, but when you start looking for the iron (yep throwing in the dryer won’t work this time) in three guy’s house, they figured something was up. Well I made it out mostly unscathed and drove to pick her up. We went to Copeland’s in Monroe (another 30 minute drive). Well so I’m pretty much a broke college student like everyone else, but I have my debit card and enough money in the bank to cover it. The problem is, we sit down and are looking over the menu and that is when I realize that there is no MasterCard at the bottom of the menu. American Express? Check Visa? Check MasterCard? NOPE. Well so now I’m doing the check you wallet under the table thingy and I realize that I have about $20 in my wallet. All I can think is “please please order cheap and let the waitress not mind that she’s about to get stiffed.” Well as luck would have it, she orders just a salad, and I didn’t even have to ask her to. So I order something cheap too, and when we’re done I ask if she wants dessert knowing that if they don’t take my card I’m in trouble. She says that she’s stuffed. I’m so distracted I don’t even take notice of the fact that she ordered this itty bitty salad and didn’t eat it all. Anyway, they ended up taking my card WHEWWW. That would have been a rough way to start the whole dating thing. “So do you have any money? Cause if not, we get to do dishes or I get arrested or something like that.”

Now you would think that the date would pretty much be over, but no. I now went back to Farmerville and met her entire family. That’s not that big of an exaggeration, because I was meeting cousins and Aunts and Uncles. So to return the favor, she had to meet my entire family the next day (they had come to watch a choir program we were having). Any of you who have had the pleasure of meeting my family know that we aren’t exactly what you would call a “quiet” group. Well Emily gets a little bit different of an impression. Once my family gets to my house, we settle in to start talking and telling stories (same ‘ole same ‘ole). Emily come pulling in a few minutes later and is about to walk into a room filled with a good portion of my family. She opens the door and that’s when my little brother Adam turns around and greats her with “Hey I’m Adam, Jace’s brother.” Ok so you think big deal he said hello, but to my family we were all like “HOLY COW ADAM TALKED TO SOMEONE.” You see my brother was a little shy (not nearly as much so now thanks to his lovely wife). Adam didn’t really initiate conversation, so my family is just floored. Now Emily looks around a room of complete strangers that are all staring open mouthed and not saying a word. That was great. Oh to be inside her mind while she thought they were all staring at her. Priceless

So we date for a while, and really enjoy hanging out together. Now, I’m going to include this part because I thought this was great. I’m out at her house one night, and her Mom decides to make us some Rice Krispies treats at like midnight (see note about her Mom’s cooking. YUM). We eat them and hang out for a while and then I head back home. As I’m going to unlock the door to my house, I hear one of my roommates (Gary) asking my other roommate (Rob) where I am. So I open the door and get the opportunity to meet my new mom aka Gary Hickman. Gary sits me down on the couch and begins to ask me why I am running so late. I say “what?” He then begins to lecture me on staying at a girl’s house that late. I tell him that her Mom even made us Rice Krispies treats at midnight, and that It’s no big deal. That’s when he says, and I quote, “That’s because ain’t nothing good happening between a guy and a girl after midnight.” Wow I just got a lecture from my roommate. SO do I drop it? No I argue like I would with my parents. I say, “But Rob stays at Lynette’s late.” That’s when Gary comes out with a line that followed us through college. “Sure but they’re established.” Ha that was great.

So that’s how the early days of me and Emily started.